So my last exam was on Monday and I am really looking forward to this summer! Got a lot lined up, and with me taking a year out of Uni to write and explore I'm finding myself enjoying each day more than the last. Things come into my life that I am blessed to have, opportunities arise that I am proud to be part of, and people surrounding me surprise me from time to time in showing outstanding love.
The thing that makes me sad is not being able to share it all with Mum.
I wrote this poem a while back and Paddy S used it in his lesson at the Young Adult's Retreat. I wrote a wee statement as well in answer to the question 'How Do You Cope?'
I hope they stimulate thought into appreciating life for what it is, a fleeting, miraculous, blessing.
How do I cope... Well... I don't. I have no choice. Death happens, we are fragile. The only things worth living for are the glories within Salvation and the moments of joy we make with each other.
I move on because I can't move back. I talk, I remember, I dream, I shout, I cry. I cry a lot. In fear of forgetting, and fear of going insane, I talk, I love. I try to be reasonable, though emotions sometimes seem anything but.
I could not do anything without the faith I have of Mum being in heaven - safe, saved. I could not do anything without believing I will one day join her.
Death is hard, but life is difficult.
I ponder on death and I realise that life really isn't much better at all.
I find in my living I am much more forgiving of those dying, answering the call.
I also find in my time, though wounds are not healed, an emptiness lingers within,
Yet that which we create, and resolving not to hate, make the pain and the suffering more dim.
(14/3/2012)
"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8:38-39
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