I haven't blogged in a long time and I apologise profusely, but life has been very busy lately. Work, friends getting married and I am just coming home from a week holiday in Glasgow to see friends and my now boyfriend (!).
It's all very exciting and I am so thankful to know that even after what I've been through I still find happiness and peace and joy in life.
Listening to music on the train home one of my favourite songs comes on by Eva Cassidy called 'I know you by heart' in which the lyrics tell of a true love, picturing someone dear from memory and feeling as if they're there - you know them by heart.
"You left in Autumn
The leaves were turning
I walked down roads of orange and gold.
I saw your sweet smile
I heard your laughter
You're still here beside me every day."
I worry that I will forget Mum, but I do know her by heart and I will learn more about her as we reminisce years on and as I learn more about how she shaped me.
I love the song because it makes me think of the idea of knowing someone by heart. Knowing what makes a person passionate, what makes them tearful, and knowing how to take care of them when they aren't so sure themselves. I have relied on people so much this past year and I fully appreciate the relationships I am blessed to be a part of.
I think it starts when you realise that you're not that strong on your own and then believing that that's OK, and then moves on when you accept that you are enough - more than enough - to be wholeheartedly loved by others. And it's wonderful. So wonderful.
So listen to that song, and feel the love...