Hold on when you feel like letting go.

   A passage I have always loved is "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep," but what happens when people do those things at the same time?

   When Mum passed away, we did not mourn as others mourned. We had Faith that she was not gone, she just relocated, and we will see her again. Our anticipatory grieving had our hearts and minds unravelling for years, but we rejoiced in our hope and in knowing she was no longer suffering. Confusion was particularly prominent the weeks surrounding her death. Last year Dad, Shanae and I celebrated Christmas. We already knew it was going to be different last year with Aubrey and Sara being away on their honeymoon, but without Mum as well, it was quite an awful occasion. We went through the motions, and I clung to our childhood traditions, trying to clasp an essence of festive normality.
   I am reminded of Mum's absence every day and special occasions are times when we would all definitely be together. So whilst preparing for our annual get together, as well as rejoicing with those who rejoice at this time, we will mourn with others who mourn. Like every day, it will be hard. Because I now understand this more, I am aware of others close to me who are struggling this month, and would like to make you aware of them also to keep them in thoughts and prayers.
  
   One of my school friends passed away recently, and I am reminded of another school friend who's brother was found drowned in a river about two years ago.
   We have family friends are going through tough times with the Mother having been diagnosed with terminal cancer in the summer.
   Other friends have just had twins, both in and out of ICU at just a month old today, whilst also caring for their other two children at home.
   Another of my friends feels she can't celebrate Christmas this year, it wouldn't feel right without her Grandfather around; whilst another friend's family will try and celebrate Christmas even though their Mother decided to leave them a few months ago.
   A guy I know is having to face the possibility of getting a prosthetic foot for Christmas this year, he's in constant agonising pain with it but uses his situation to encourage others around him in hospital. A true fighter.
   I read an article about a couple who know their baby is going to die soon after the birth at Christmas. They will have spent just over 9 months with their daughter, the majority of it without seeing what she looks like.
   These are just a few of the situations I am aware of, there are several more I haven't mentioned, including things on the news, and I know you know hundreds more. Whilst some may wish to forget their troubles and anxieties at Christmas time others can not, and must soldier on, knowing they won't have a normal, happy Christmas this year - and maybe not ever again.

   Santa's Grottos, bright lights, red hats and rosy smiling faces, the Christmas hustle and bustle is something which can not easily be escaped for those who may wish to dodge it this year. For those worrying about things other than matching Christmas crackers, well-wrapped gifts, uneven window lights and misspelled greetings cards, my heart goes out to you. I pray that you find a peace in the chaos of the season, I hope you find a joy in today just like any other day and I wish you all the best in whatever you find yourself doing this month.

If you are wanting to do something to help those perhaps not looking forward to the holiday season because they aren't able to celebrate, Shelter and Operation Christmas Child are two great charities which you can look into and maybe even help them along in their quest to spread the love.

Twenty One.

   I am 21. Crazy.... Well, pretty logical actually, and I often feel older than that but still - it's a good number to reach. Just over a week ago Dad and I went up to Dundee to catch up with friends, celebrate my 21st Birthday, pack up my things and move me back home. As well as celebrate [my first] Thanksgiving with the Galloway's in Glasgow! So much food. Good times.
    I apologise for not blogging in a while I have about 3 posts on the go and a 'thought' to come is one which I've had up my sleeve for times such as these when indecision and procrastination call... I also have many thoughts running through my head today. Today was the day of the funeral of a school friend, my thoughts have been in her family and friends who are grieving at this time - more on that later as well. 
   Another thing is - life. Just a small subject.. I am in the process of clearing out my room, replacing old with new and I came across an old diary in which I said some interesting things, prediction kind of things, which are now coming to light. It's funny how life just works out sometimes, how you can look back on what you've done, where you've gone and who you've known and think 'Oh wow, nice one God. I see what you did there.'
 
"There must be a day or two in a man's life when he is the precise age for something important."
      - Franklin P. Adams

A thought: Maybe it's time to take some advice of my own?
   When I was younger and we would go out as a family into town or to visit an attraction we would sometimes be given a bit money to buy ourselves a wee something to take home. My sister would chose something sensible like pens or a book, my brother would either buy a small sturdy toy or he'd ask to save his. But I would always go for the shiny, plastic, fun-for-a-second toy like an artists 'pallet' with hard tablet paints and a tiny brush, or a mini fake Barbie when I had other real ones at home. My Dad told me not too long ago that when I did this he hated saying yes because he knew it would last 5 minutes and then it would break or, as usual, I'd get bored with it. A waste of money. Fickle, I realise I was only a child though. This does parallel well to situations such as moving house, relationships, jobs, etc. But in some of these things I have often leaped with my heart before thinking with my head. This history tells me two things about myself which I have recently become conscious of [I guess this is growing up]: 1) I need to be careful what I invest in things and 2) I need to recognise my reaction before concluding that's how I really feel.
   I won't say much more on that, these are just things I need to consider more, and a warning against hastiness.. If it's worth a lot, it'll take a lot.