Hello England!
I have shared with you my emotional and thinking process in me moving out of my city flat into a family home after Mum's passing. And also a little in thoughts about a possible move in the future - but these past 8 weeks have given me a new thought on the phrase 'Home is where the Heart is'. In this time I have come to a greater understanding of what it could really mean, and how it will affect me for the rest of my life.
Someone asked me the other day how many new 'Facebook friends' I had added over my time in the States. I wasn't quite sure, as I think only a month's additions is shown on your page and mine said 15 'new friends', but the number is probably double that (by mathematical calculation). That is not to be boasting at all, it is merely to say I have met that many people who I would like to keep in touch with. The only boasting I can do, is in that I am part of such a wonderful family that allows me to care for a lot of people, and vice versa. I am quite an open person, and find it quite easy to talk to just about anybody. I tend to get comfortable with people quickly, and because of this I get to share such interesting things with them. There are three things I want to tell you to make my point:
Firstly, Cassidy is a girl I met in Henderson, TN. We spent some time together and within just 3 days became so close. We have some things in common, I couldn't necessarily tell you what her 'favourites were' - except pugs - but we bonded over mutual grounding and a fundamental understanding which leads us to strive to be the women we want to be. It is an honour to know her. My friendship with her is just one of many I was blessed with in my time away.
Secondly, years ago I was at a Youth Weekend (retreat) in a girls' class we were talking about 'how far is too far' - you know the lesson - and it was mentioned that even holding a boy's hand is like giving him a piece of your Heart (so you need to be careful you don't give yourself away before you meet that one person you want to share everything with.) I use this lesson as an analogy - rather than physical aspects of love I am talk about sharing acts of kindness, experiences, memories and wisdom which I call Love.
Thirdly, I thoroughly enjoy getting to know people. I find people fascinating. How different we all are, yet how similar our Hearts tend to be. We hear expressions like 'I could never love them more than I do right now' or 'my whole heart belongs to you' and I have been there. Yet I continue to Love and Love and Love, and even when my Heart feels broken, or shattered, I still find capacity to Love all the more. If you have children you truly understand how your Heart seems bottomless, because even with each new addition to the family you Love them the same, unconditional, utmost amount.
N.B. With these things considered I have seen that we were made to Love one another. As a Christian I believe we were made to Love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength - first and foremost, but there is always room to Love your neighbour as yourself.
So, I was really upset the night before we left America. I
couldn't quite figure out why until it came together in my head like
this: I was sad because I felt as though I had gained so much, had so
many fantastic memories, pictures, souvenirs, gifts to take back with
me, but I also felt as though I was leaving something behind. Every
teary-eyed conversation, be it from common sorrows or sheer hilarity,
made an impact on me. I felt as though pieces of my Heart had been left
with these moments and these people I had encountered. I fell in-love with
fellowship, with the different relationships we can have with one
another.
I am blessed to have been given many opportunities in my
life to really get to know and Love people. Some so well that I
think that when we Love someone we give them a piece of our Heart for
strength and safe keeping. Whether it's crying together over similar
struggles of grief at a dining table with sweet ice tea,
playing card games and end up talking about past relationships with a new acquaintance, sitting beneath the stars talking about hopes and dreams with
someone you've always-known-but-have-never-really-known, you're sharing
your Love with people.
Going back to the phrase 'Home is where the Heart is', I am learning that Home really IS where your Heart is. Be it in one place or a hundred. The truly awesome thing about Love is that it is infinite, it is overwhelming and it sometimes does surpass understanding - to the extent even that a born and bred Brit can feel 'at home' sippin' sweet tea and shootin' skeet with the best of 'em. ;] I consider my family to be one that extends to many wonderful people across the pond, and I realise 'yeah, I could get used to this...'
But when I sat, a little begrudgingly, in 39A on the plane in Nashville airport, knowing I would not get a decent sleep or meal for the next 24 hours, a face with a smile came into my mind and I stopped caring about how I would get home, just that I would. I knew that I was travelling back to a place where I had stored little, medium and large pieces of my Heart, and everything was OK.
Home is where your Heart is. Be it vested in your family, friends, acquaintances, cultural traditions, land history or hopes for a brighter future, when possible, people will go where they most want to be. For me, for now, it is in the house I grew up in, the residence in which my Mother and Father built a home, the place I first learned to truly Love. So, yes, I am happy to be home.
My last post had the Preface (so far) for my book, and I've been working on it more than I had done as well but I'd like to give you, my lovely readers, a little update on things with me at the moment...
Shanae and I, in the mean time, have been doing a lot of painting. We stripped the wood chip wallpaper from the landing walls and those around the stairs, white washed and painted them all and it looks pretty cheerful! It's funny how a different colour changes a place so much. I dare say those of you who had visited our house in the last 15 years (we think it had been that long since it was painted blue) will notice a big difference.
